Body Safety
Speaking with your children about body safety is difficult, but extremely important.
There’s no perfect age to start speaking with your children about body safety. Instead, it should be an ongoing dialogue throughout their young lives. Avoid falling back on the warning of “stranger danger”, as most abusers are known to their child victims. Engage your children, talk about their safety, show that you’re available to answer questions and always be aware of what they might be telling you without words. The following tips are not meant to be a complete answer, but are some general guidelines for speaking with your child.
The DO’s
DO talk with your child at a quiet time, without distractions so that you have their attention.
DO talk about which parts of their bodies are considered “private” and which are not private, using whatever language is commonly used in your home.
DO talk about who CAN touch their private parts, i.e. a doctor as part of an exam, parents and/or caregivers who might assist with toileting or bathing. It’s appropriate to distinguish between those normal activities and contact with their private areas that are not in those contexts.
DO talk about how it is not okay for anyone else to touch their private parts. Inquire in an open manner whether anyone else has touched them and who that is.
DO talk about what your child should do if someone touches them, who they should tell, and where they can go. Make sure they know they can always talk to you, no matter what has happened.
DO emphasize that it’s never safe to go into another person’s home or car without your knowledge. Make it clear this includes neighbors, friends, family members and acquaintances.
DO pay attention to changes in your child’s sleeping, eating or toileting habits as they can sometimes be indicators.
DO show support for whatever your child tells you. Try not to show that you’re upset as this may impair disclosure.
If you suspect abuse bring your concerns to the attention of the appropriate authorities: the Division for Children Youth and Families (1-800-894-5533) and/or your local police department. Ask for help, get support for yourself, and let your child know you are proud of them for talking to you. Feel free to contact your local Child Advocacy Center or the Granite State Children’s Alliance with further questions. Find a center.
The DON’Ts
DO NOT ask direct questions, such as “Has Uncle Bob ever touched you?” Inquire in general about different people that your child is in contact with.
DO NOT use dolls or stuffed animals to demonstrate. This can invite “magical thinking” into the scenario as children commonly engage in pretend play with these toys. If your child does disclose something of concern, avoid the temptation to ask direct or leading questions.
Click here to download a copy of “Talking with your Child about Body Safety”, a helpful pamphlet developed by the Child Advocacy Center of Rockingham County.
